Saturday, May 22, 2010

Location Liars

Location liars. Let me define.
These are the people that are never ever on time.
These are the ones that say, "I'm already there."
But, yeah, I'm here and not seeing you so the chance of that being true is rare. 
It's totally fine if you're running late.
You probably, however, don't want to be a location liar on a date.
Picture it: there sitting in a restaurant waiting for you.
You are telling them you are inside looking for them, but they know it isn't true! 
They realize at that moment you lie about your location.
You have now officially been placed on dating probation.
Let's also consider an interview that you have for a potential job. 
You tell the boss, "I'm already here." Honestly? In the whole building there's only one door knob.
And your hand has not turned it.
I garauntee you the boss has already learned it.
You aren't there yet! That's all there is to it.
Lying about your location! You blew it!
Just be honest. "uhmm.. Hey. I'm running behind."
They will understand. They possibly won't even mind.
But lying about where you are at!
Come on! People hate that!
Especially when they know that you are not present.
You are lying. They know it. It's not pleasant.
I'm feeling it. It's hot. It's your pants on fire!
You, my friend, are a location liar!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Buccees Stop

I was sitting in a buccees parking lot at 11:24pm parked in between those yellow parking lines.
My eyes were shifting between the dip n dots and beaver neon signs.
I was tired from the driving and ready to be home.
I wanted to get out of the car and see something different. Maybe a gnome?
I was slowly getting irriated. Angry with the concrete road.
I was sick and tired of seeing the oh so common splattered body of the toad.
The music was getting boring. The voices of the singers getting lame.
About the buccees stop and the stupid neon signs, I felt the same
I fiddling with this thing hanging around my neck.
Then, You said it. You said it and it was in a moment that I did not expect.
The fiddling stopped and I sat still because I was instantly stolen.
I was second base and you were Nolan.
Sometimes I forget that you are in the car with me.

I forget that you are everywhere even though your figure I cannot see.
You swept me, captured me just like you always do.
I said it aloud back to you.
But just in case you didn't hear let me say it again, "I love you too."

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Palin


This is my pup.
She is a Republican. She breathes like a pig. That's what's up!
October 4, 2009.
This is when I met this dog of mine.
I walked inside and was greeted at the door.
I knew instantly this was something for my birthday for sure.
My family told me to close my eyes.
Then, Jayden said, "Open them Aunt Jade! Surprise!"
I opened my eyes and what did I see?
A WALL. A blank wall staring back at me.
I looked at my family like what the crap is this?
Josyah's eyes were so wide I knew there was something I had missed.
"No Aunt Jade! Look down here," I heard.
What happened next is crystal clear in my mind. Nothing blurred.
This white beast with a black eye!
I got so excitement I think I made my mom almost cry.
I love that dog. I really do.
She was my prize for turning 22.
She is stubborn, fat and ridiculous.
She gets on Ben's nerve. He is so meticulous!
I mean what's the big deal if she rips our shoes to shreds?
What does it really matter that she sheds on all our beds?
Who really cares if she steals the girl scout cookies and eats the whole box?
As far as I'm concerned this French Bull dog rocks!
Yes, this is my pup. My friend that's super chubby.
AND NO. YAY-YO is NOT Palin's hubby!


jadedekelaita.com

Monday, May 10, 2010

When I am 88 I'll be the coolest grandma in the joint.

I challenge you to find that person beating against your heart. The one that's in you. The child.
If life were Taco Bell, what sauce are you? Hot, FIRE, or... mild?
I refuse to let my soul grow old with my body.
I am only 22. To make that statement now may seem a bit haughty.
"When you get a taste of this world that child in you will die."
HA! I have tasted this world. No effect. Wanna know why?
I am not going to be 30 one day and be too grown to skip.
I choose not be a parent that cannot do a back flip.
Well, I can't do a back flip now but you get my point!
When I am 88 I'll be the coolest grandma in the joint.
What I am saying is never stop playing and having fun.
Never under estimate the power of going outside and getting a nice "hello!" from the sun.
Life is hectic, painful and straight mean at times.
But I know that I can find enough beauty in life to put it in these rhymes. 
Be sophisticated, be business, be smart.
Just don't ever be so much of those that you lose your heart.
I challenge you. After reading these words go out and do something you did when you were a kid.
If life were a can of pringles, let's do it! POP THE LID!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

What?!?

I am wondering that too.
"Like, seriously, what's wrong with you?"
Ever heard someone say that?
In their instant anger, they spit it and then its spat.
And you start wondering, what's wrong with me?
What is this thing about me I cannot see?
Something is wrong. I must fix!
Then, you sit and ponder about it over a twix.
Am I too thug? Too Punk? Too nerd?
Am I too me? That's absurd!
What is it? What is so incredibly bad?
I am out of fashion? Out of style? A bad fad?!
They asked it didn't they? They asked it straight!
I don't know what's wrong with me. What is it they hate?
I bet it's my style and my hair that's not long enough.
Man! I can't fix all of this, you think, I can't fix all this stuff.
How can my wrong be made right?
I got an idea! Be exactly who you are with every single ounce of your might. 
Be thug. Be punk. Be nerd.
Why wouldn't you? That's absurd! 
Then, in the moment when that question gets spat.
Answer just like this. Lean to the side and tilt your hat.
"Like, seriously, what's wrong with you?"
Say it direct. Say it bold. Say it true.
With that, you will have a quick fix.
They will leave you alone and be on their way to get a twix.
There is something they are going to have to ponder.
"What is wrong with me? Really, what is wrong with me I wonder?"


Saturday, May 8, 2010

Term worms crawling in my brain.

Today I am sparked with a new enthusiam and energy.
Once again the chains of pencils, papers and books and have fallen of me.

YES! DANCE WITH ME! Or maybe not.
But hey I am done with this semester and yes Paris Hilton has agreed with me, "that's hot!"

My last final of the semester I took today.
I owned it, locked it up, put it in jail and its bail I will not pay.
On my way out I smiled at my teacher.
I would've preferred to do some other things but hey come on now, I'm a preacher!
Good bye to you Saturday class!
Rest in peace and alas!
For you will never again see my face.
I am gone. Gone I tell you! Permanently removed from that space!
I must admit. Those terms. Terms, terms, terms, terms.
Will remain with me. Creeping into my brain at the right time just like little worms.
Those term worms have become my friends.
Isn't it weird how this learning journey never ends?
I hate it but I dearly love it so.
Next semester, bring it on baby! HERE WE GO!

Friday, May 7, 2010

the most cliche thing to say

There are few words I wish to say.

I am fully aware of their status: completely cliche.

Nonetheless, I will write them and write them true.

These are words that have infected my heart and run ramped like the flu.

They've surrounded the essence of all I am.

Binding me by my own will never to be released again.

These words. Here we go.

Embrace them. Whether friend or foe.

Love. It's a truly incredible thing.

Can make a grown man twirl and old man sing.
Love. Can make one spend money. Lots and lots of money.
Love. Gotcha saying cheesy phrases like, "Love you more, honey."
Love. Makes the everyday routine responsibilities a breeze.
It makes all the heaviness that's resting in your lungs leave and helps you breathe. 
Love. It binds you so strong yet sets you free.
Love. It is such a mysterious wonder to me.
This love I used to say I could not call mine.
I was wrong. So wrong. This love was mine frorm the beginning of time.
There is one that I make dance and sing simply for being alive.
There is one that loves me with such a passion He died.
This man before He is my savior and forgiver, He is my friend.
This man is the one that even when I fall out of love with him, he brings me back again.
I have never had butterflies quite like this.
No one else could give me this experience.
I am so captured, so swept, so taken.
It is so true. So honest. And cannot be mistaken.

I am in love.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Volcano Wisdom





















So, I climbed Volcano Pacaya in Guatemala and fell down it. Beast. A few things to note.

1.) I could've/should've died.

2.) Our tour guide was maybe 8 years old and spoke zero English (I was the designated translator???) Yo quiero Taco bell.

3.) Sulfur rock, when it slices into your arm because you slam into it and draws blood, burns like a MUG that is filled with scalding hot coffee and lava.

4.) There is a little something called skiing down a volcano. There is a right way to do it.... and a wrong way. I chose the path less traveled (literally).

5.) Mountain lions exist on Volcano Pacaya. Some people described them as if they looked like Jacob Black and his gang of sharped teeth beasts. I would describe them as mangy dogs that are hot and angry because they live next to lava that continually burns their fur off leaving their bare skin open to the world.

6.) Singing Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" helps you not vomit after climbing 20 miles of ash and rock. But apparently when you change the lyrics you will fall. So, piece of advice... don't change lyrics to Miley Cyrus songs while climbing a volcano.

"There's always gunna be another Pacaya. I am always gonna wanna make it moo...." That's all I got out before introducing my flesh to a few sulfur rocks. Sorry Miles.

7.) If you slam into a wall of sulfur that is the exact same height that you are and it pushes you back off only forcing you to slam into it again, some of your friends may think you are unconcious. Reassure them of your conscious state with a gut wreching, "AGHHHHHH!" followed by your own nervous that you might be dead laughter.

8.) Not having water or any other beverage on a katrillion mile, lava-hot, volcano journey is stupid.

9.) Pacaya apparently has a few open holes that blow out Hell's flames when you least expect it. Don't wear shorts...........

10.) I could've/Should've died.

Pistis, elpis, agapē

Faith, Hope, Love. I felt as if there may be a few people that would visit my site, jadedekelaita.com, and see those three words on my page and be curious as to its meaning. It is Greek and it is beautiful! Three things that have, do and will continue to change the world are these three words. If we can allow them to jump off the page (screen) and become apart of the very essence of who we are, WOW! My faith, my hope and my love are all a product of the life I have found in Jesus. Faith to know that the impossible things in this world can be possible. Hope to believe that there is something more to me and you than flesh, bone and blood. And love. Love to make all imperfect perfect.

Pistis. Elpis. Agape.