"I Will."

Jesus,

I told you I would follow You. I gave You no conditions.
I buried my face in the red letter text. I gave my life to them. No omissions.

I put my feet in your sandals and my vision began to drastically change.
I see a life in which I am not number one. My wants and opinions don't matter. How strange! 

You said, "Follow Me." I said wholeheartedly, "My Love, I will."
But whoever said it would be easy to watch while all of my ambitions are killed?

Whoever said it would be easy, they lied.
The truth is to follow You is to be crucified. 

Now, I kneel here before You, and to all those I love, I give all of my goodbyes.
I kneel here before You, in the face of the unknown, I forfeit my questions and close my eyes.

My body trembles before you. My shirt is soaked with my tears.
On this mountain, I give up my selfishness. I give up my desires. I give up my fears.

Lord, I know some look at me and say, "Wow. She's completely lost her mind."
But, I've only followed You. I've stepped off the cliff of comfort, and I've left it all behind. 

The weight of Eternity resting on the human heart! I find it hard to breathe.
Leaving my whole world behind to step into Yours! Why do I grieve? 

You're breaking me. Look, world! This is what it means to die!
I separate myself from my own dreams. No wonder disciples cry!

Jesus, say "Follow Me" and then turn and walk away.
Look behind You! I'm here. Every night. Every day. 

If you leave like Elijah, I'm running after You!
Tell me to leave like Naomi. No! Where You die, I die. I'm Ruth! 

If you leave and withdraw to the mountain to hide.
Look! Like Moses, I'm climbing up for You. Just let me sit by Your side! 

You said, "Follow Me." I will. I'm not changing my mind.
For You, oh Love of my life, I leave it all behind.

Jade, I've lived for you long enough. It's time to say goodbye.
He said, "Follow Me." I said, "I will." I forfeit all my questions and close my eyes.

I walk into the unknown. You may think I've lost my mind.
I can't worry about that. I've left it all behind. 

Forgive Me.

My knees that have bowed before selfish gods dig into this floor.
My mouth that has cried praises to itself cries selfless cries like it never has before.

My hands that have worked hard against You tremble in your midst.
My eyes that have wandered for worship now rest on You and are fixed.

My head so full of my own ambition hangs so very low.
My back is bent before You screaming of everything I tried to carry on my own.

My eyes are slammed shut, overwhelmed with shame.
My body shakes, this clump of clay to meet with a holy flame.

My breath catches in my throat as I discover you are the very air in my lungs.
My tongue moves to form praise for the One from which all Hope comes.

I am paralyzed here. My quaking hands lifted high.
I know I have been blind and deaf. Nonetheless, oh God, draw nigh.

Repentance, like a breaking dam, pours from my posture.
I have treated my life like it was my book to write. I am my own author.

An ounce of pride is far too much. Destroy it while You are here.
Wash me with fire. Clothe me in white.
Help me see! Help me hear!

An ounce of independence is far too much. Teach me again to trust You.
Oh, Voice On The Wind, come!
Come to my rescue!

How could I go a single day without kissing Your face in prayer?
How could I orchestrate my own life? How could I even dare?

Forgive me, Father. I have been far from you. Not in deed, but in heart.
How did I forget that You are my ending, and You, oh Lord, are my start?

You were my first Love. You will be my last.
You are all of my future.
You hold all of my past.

__________________________________________

My eyes open. I am mystified.
My head is lifted, my hands are still, my tears are dried.

Tears swell in my eyes again as I realize You have come and gone.
Only You could leave Hope on a heavy heart that outshines the dawn.

I shake my head from side to side as I marvel at your wonder.
Like a loyal friend, you silently forgave me. Silence from the God of Thunder.

You, Almighty God, visited me in my room.
The Victor over all evil. The One who died and then walked out of the tomb!

A few small moments and You have restored my soul.
A few small moments and like a thief, all of my sin, doubt, shame, and pain You stole.

A few small moments have become larger than life itself.
Because You, oh God, are more than an old dusty book ignored on the shelf.

I am only alive, not my body but my soul, because You live.
Now, teach me to love like you. Teach me, oh God, how to give.

Teach me to forgive in silence and quiet.
Teach me that the wrongdoing of others is no call for a riot.

Teach me to shout of Love, not with my mouth but with my life.
Teach me to be a trustworthy person, a loyal friend, a faithful wife.

Teach me how to walk in strength like lightning but to be as humble as the grave.
Teach me that Love is the most powerful position, mighty enough to save.

God, if it be possible, teach me to be like You.
Maybe I can love people from darkness to light, from blindness to sight too.

Oh God, teach me to be like you.
Oh God, Please do.

Let's.

We live in a world where evil can possess a man to riddle masses of people with bullets.

We live in a world where if someone doesn’t agree with one’s belief system, they’ll put a gun to their head, place their finger on the trigger, and pull it.

We live in a country where women and children are loaded into trucks like store product and transported through our states.

We live in a country where those women and children are sold to be hidden, beaten, and raped.

We live in a city where an 11-year-old can walk home from school and be stabbed by a stranger to his death.

We live in a city where a man takes the place of God in believing he should choose when you breathe your last breath.

We live in a world where children are mentally and physically abused in their own homes and are urged to stay silent.

We live in a world where the souls of countless people are screaming for help, but their mouths stay quiet.

We live in a country where we don’t have to get out of our air-conditioned cars to get food and to get drink.

We live in a country that lives blindly to the fact that someone dies every four seconds from hunger. Does that make your heart sink?

We live in a society where everything is debated, down to whether an individual is male or female.

We live in a society where movie and music stars are heroes, and those that die for our freedom get lost in the details.

We live in a world where people who stand stubbornly for their opinions are still incredibly confused.

We live in a world where when evil things should sicken us, we find ourselves amused.

We live in a place where these very words will offend you because, regardless of the truth, it’s not what you see.

We live in a place where because I said something you don’t agree with, I should have to say, “I’m sorry.”

So, in this world, of what can we be certain? Is there anything in this world that is absolutely true?

I guess this question can only be answered in the moment you look in the mirror and see you.

Despite your opinions and your ideas, do you truly value the lives of others?

Despite race or skin color, when you look at people do you see sisters and brothers?

Do you know well that homosexuals, heterosexuals, and every label in between bleed just like you? Red blood.

Or do you look at those that are different from you and see pigs playing in the mud?

Do you fight to save those that are dying of hunger or those that are sex slaves?

Or are you too busy screaming your opinion while you do nothing but help dig their graves?

Instead of brawling to be right, let’s seek to do good.

Instead of going to war for our opinions, beliefs, and theories, let’s just do what we should.

Instead of getting the last word and winning the debate,

Turn to love, seek to understand, relinquish your hate.

Instead of using a hashtag or updating your profile picture about prayer,

Actually get on your knees before God on the behalf of others because you genuinely care.

Treat every person you meet like it could be his or her last day to live. Treat them with compassion.

Live everyday like it’s your last day to live. Wear love like it’s in fashion.

So, of what can we be certain in a world of uncertainty? Love never fails.

Hatred will lose. Opinions will falter. But Love! Love always avails!

Do you see the hungry? Feed them!

Do you hear the slaves? Free them!

Do you see the lost? Lead them!

Do you hear the forgotten? Heed them!

Do you see the abused? Defend them!

Do you hear the broken? Mend them!

Silence your opinions, and turn up the volume on your grace.

Live your convictions. Stop screaming about them until your red in the face.

Let’s not say that we’re praying when we know that we’re not.

In our rooms, in silence, let’s speak to God on behalf of others, as we ought.

Let’s not preach about love and have nothing to show for it.

Let’s love so extravagantly that even the evilest of hates can’t ignore it.  

There is right, and there is wrong, but let’s not fight to be right.

Fight to be a beacon of hope in a hopeless world. Fight to be a light!

Climb up the hill where hatred and judgment have never made it to the top.

On your way up, though a very hard hill to climb, bitter resentment will drop.

Let's climb up the hill where love cannot be hidden or ignored.

Let's climb up in the face of hate and watch the unthinkable be restored.

LETTER TO THE RICH MAN

Rich Man,

We often make excuses to cover up what the Messiah asked of you.

We throw sugar and make pretty what he actually told you to do.

The text is very clear. The letters are in red.

Jesus said exactly the words we thought He said.

“Give up your possessions. Give everything to the poor.”

It’s astonishing, I know, that He even asked for more.

“Once you’ve given everything, come and follow me.

Give up your life, as you’ve known it, and watch who you become to be.”

We say he only asked for your possessions because there was more wealth in store.

Look! Like magic! Money through this door!

We say he only asked for your money to test the extent of your belief.

Look! I was just kidding! No reason for your grief!

The reality is, you knew He didn’t ask for your stuff so you could end up with much more.

You knew He asked for your stuff so He could make you poor.

You knew He didn't ask for your wealth as a grueling test of faith.

You knew He asked for your stuff so you could look God in His face.

You had too much comfort, too much ease, and too much security. You would never break.

Skin you can't cut and a heart that can’t bleed? I would call it fake.

You were externally rich but internally broke.

You walked away from Eternity, miserable with the words He spoke.

He was offering you a life far beyond riches and possessions.

But these things were your idols, your altars, and your obsessions.

The Messiah was trying to give you a life with great meaning and great depth.

You knew this, but the process to you looked too much like death.

Rich man, it would have been good for you to kiss your stuff goodbye.

Rich man, it would have been good for you to go through the dark season of, “Why?”

Rich man, you would have found your greatest riches in your poverty.

Rich man, you would have found your freedom making giving your life’s policy.

There’s power in weakness. There’s beauty in being broken down.

Rich man, we have the most power when before God, we put our faces to the ground.

You knew He meant it when He said give up everything and then come and follow.

You knew He was making an effort to heal your soul so hollow.

When you read those red letters, and you’re astonished at what He said

Just remember He’s only trying to awaken you from your sleep so dead.

Don’t make it pretty. Don’t sugar coat the cross in which Christ has called us to carry.

No, look it in the face, and make a covenant. Through pain and promise, to You oh Lord, I am married. 

LETTER TO EZEKIEL

LETTER TO EZEKIEL

Prophet, how could you know God Most High and yet encounter grief so low?

How could you, oh man of God, take a walk through the valley of dry bones? 

How could you, oh great prophet, soar high with life's greatest Treasure,

Only to land so hard on the ground amongst destruction and death that is multiplied without measure? 

Aren't you mighty, sir? Aren't you great?

Then why do you, of all people, have to enter through this gate? 

Aren't you God's trusted? Aren't you His friend? 

Then why do you, great prophet, have to stand in the reward of ungodly men? 

You've been separated! Ezekiel, you walk with The Lord of Hosts.

A man called by Eternity carried into the pit of Hell to share his life with ghosts? 

You talk to God in private. He knows you by name!

Now, you stand in Death. Tell me, oh man of God, are you ashamed?

Why, mighty prophet, has this become your reality? 

You were just with God! Now, you're walking in the wages of sin in all of its totality! 

You are alive, but these people are dead. 

You don't belong there, Ezekiel. Your lungs are still moving, your blood is still red. 

Oh, great prophet, help me understand.

You fly with the universe's Creator yet you're walking in Dead Man's Land.

Oh, mighty man of God, help me to see.

You hear God's voice yet you're talking to bones that refuse to breathe. 

Oh, Ezekiel, help me to know.

How do you know God the way you do yet you're in that valley so low? 

EZEKIEL'S RESPONSE: 

Why would I care for a people in which I've never tasted their pain?

How can I understand the depth of their death if I've never been slain? 

You tell me, oh daughter of God, is greatness found in preservation?

To save myself, protect myself, and know no devastation? 

How small a life would I live if I lived it only for myself? 

A book littered with truth and not a single page torn perfectly polished on the shelf. 

No, my highest of days have been discovered in the valley of dry bones.

I found my purpose, I touched Love's face the moment my laughter turned to groans.

I, the great prophet, in my pain am telling a story of what is to come.

There is a King who will step down to Hell to die. He's known as God's Son.  

Yes, this man of God was carried into darkness to feel the emptiness of Hell.

Shallow people mark this as God's rejection. No! It's proof! I know Him well! 

God led me to walk among my people's bones so my rock hard heart would break.

How can you shut your heart to a dying generation and call yourself great? 

God led me to walk among my people's bones to show His Son would do the same.

How can you not see the valley is my reward? I carried Christ's Name! 

My life, both pain and promise, is but a picture to display God's resurrection power to you. 

Perhaps, oh woman of God, you are a picture too.

"If He Only Knew." - The Father

I know He thinks I've forsaken Him because He is face to face with His fate.

If only He knew I had to turn a deaf ear in order to make Him great. 

I know He thinks He I am gone from Him because He is numb with pain.

If only He know I had to reject Him in order to accept you in your shame. 

I know He thinks I've abandoned Him because He can no longer hear my voice.

If only He knew I had to shut up in order to give you Salvation's choice. 

I know He thinks I've turned my back on Him because He can no longer feel my touch.

If only He knew I had to walk away from Him because I love you so very much. 

I know He thinks I can no longer hear Him because He screams out loud at the sky. 

If only He knew how proud I was. My holy and royal Son, for sinners, would die. 

I know He thinks I can longer see Him because I've let them beat Him beyond measure.

If only He knew in only three days He would enter into His greatest treasure. 

I know He thinks I no longer love Him because of the nails ripping through His skin.

If only He knew because of His obedience, He was wiping away the world's sin. 

I know He thinks I have left Him because He hangs like a murderer to die.

But I know my Son will soon see I never left, not for one second, as I am living on the inside. 

I live inside of Him, His motivation to endure the cross.

I live inside of Him. All will be gain, my Son! All will be gain that You have lost!  

I live inside of Him, His ability to say, "Forgive them" as they beat nails through His wrists.

I live inside of Him, His ability to love them as they disfigure His face with their fists. 

I live inside of Him, His perseverance to not die until it is finished. 

I live inside of Him. In all of His misery, not one single person did He diminish! 

I live inside of Him, His courage to remain on the cross when He could call angels to slay His opposition.

I live inside of Him, His supernatural strength to complete His impossible mission.

Jesus, my Son. If He only knew. 

On the other side of His agony would be a forgiven, a holy, and a sinless YOU. 

"Seven Devils I Knew." - Mary Magdalene

Do you know a devil? Have you encountered one, even two?

Some called me sick, some called me slut, but Jesus called me Mary when seven devils I knew.

Do you know the torment I bore in the depths of my soul?

Do you know what it feels like to have within your heart a vast, gaping hole?

Do you know the feeling of being on Hell’s playground?

Do you know what it feels like to walk into a room and whispers lash out all around?

Have you known a devil? One or maybe two?

All rejected me when seven devils I knew.

I forgot my name. I didn’t know who I was.

I was what they called me, right? Oh, how Hell had me in the grip of its claws!

This one used me, and that one used me too.

Jesus loved me when seven devils I knew.

Seven evil voices, and they all hated me.

Seven monsters with their hands in front of my eyes, I was blind! I couldn’t see!

Many people had many names for me, the woman who knew Hell as her husband.

But Jesus called me by name in the midst of the seven and right then He stunned them.

He made the seven devils I knew come to know me.

I was not sick. I was no slut. I was God’s daughter, Mary.

On the day of His resurrection, He spoke to me first. I know it’s unbelievable, but it’s true!

The King that conquered death, Hell, and the grave came to the woman who seven devils she knew!

He sent me, the one who knew seven devils, to tell the disciples He had risen.

He sent me to share the news of Freedom, the one who had been locked up in Hell’s prison!

He made me the first preacher of the Resurrected Son. He sent me to declare, “All things are made new!”

Yes. He sent me, Mary, who seven devils I knew. 

"I Denied Him" - Peter

I denied Him. I denied Him. I denied Him, and I said I never would.

Three times I did it. I never knew I could.

I could have sworn that I loved Him. I was absolutely sure.

Am I any different than Judas? I’ve walked through a betrayer’s door.

I told Him I would die with Him, but that was nothing but a lie.

I deserve His death and punishment! I deserve to die!

I was with Him in His glory, but I left Him in His pain.

I was such a coward, and I am so ashamed!

I was with Him when they cheered Him on. I was with Him. I was in.

But I was out the moment the day turned to night and they yelled, “Crucify Him!”

I denied Him. I denied Him. I denied Him. It’s what I swore I would not do.

Three times I did it. What He said to me was true!

And then the rooster crowed, and this coward fell on his face.

I wept in bitterness. The disciple in me was gone without a trace.

I buried my face in the dirt, and I mourned the death of my courage.

Who had I become? In my soul, selfishness had flourished.

My tears wet the dust beneath me as I lamented the demise of my loyalty.

Jesus is hanging on the cross. Where’s Peter? He’s gone!  I’ve deserted Royalty!

How do I, Peter, have so many tears?

How do I of all people have so many fears?

I waited there in my grief, the countdown to my end. 5, 4, 3, 2…

“Peter, get up! He’s back just like He promised. The Master calls for you!”

My head ripped from the ground the moment I got word.

My tears dried instantly. Did I just hear what I think I heard?

Yes, I am moved that He is back from the dead, but did she say He called for me?

I denied Him. I denied Him. I denied Him. He called for me personally?

My God, this Man has loved me! He has loved me to the end!

Jesus, You're more than I ever thought. I cannot comprehend!

I denied You! I denied You! I denied You! I said I never would.

Three times I did it. I never knew I could.

You loved me. You loved me. You loved me. I can’t believe You did.

Three days of death and Hell You suffered just to prove it.

And so the time came when with confidence I asked, “Turn my cross upside down.

As they crucified me, I loved Him. I loved Him. I loved Him in my cross and in my crown.”

For Him, I died. No, there were no bitter tears. There was no shame.

I hung upside down proud, so proud to bear that Man’s name.

I, Peter, love Him. I love Him. I love Him. I never knew I could.

Three times I have said it, and a million times I would. 

Sleep On.

He’s on His face crying out. His Father is silent. His friends are asleep.
Someone comfort Him. He’s contemplating the cross. Watch Him weep.

Heaven is quiet as it closes its windows. His brothers are still in their slumber.

Someone count His cost. He’s considering the cross. His burdens are without number.

His body trembles. It shakes. Blood drips and drops from His head.

Someone run to Him! In hours, He will be dead.

Eternity turns its back. His disciples will soon run and hide.

Someone hold Him! Look at His anguish. Look at the tears He has cried.

He’s lying in the dust of despair. His Father is silent. His friends are asleep.

Someone encourage Him. Looking death in the face, there’s a promise He must keep.

Like a worm He is stretched out on the soil, dirt on his lips. Everyone is gone.

Someone lift Him up. His soul is crushed. The King can no longer go on.

His body forms a cross in the clay. His Father is silent. His friends are asleep.

Someone, please! Help Him! The grief He is carrying is in His veins, seeping deep.

His lips shake as He groans for relief. He can feel the darkness of the night on His skin.

Someone, please! Hearten Him! This man is destined to die for my sin!

His heart is about to fail in His chest. His Father is silent. His friends are asleep.

Please, Jesus. Don’t give up. It’s only in Your cross that I will ever be freed.

He lifts His face from the mud His tears created. He pushes Himself off the ground.

He clenches His jaw. He raises His chin. My voice. He heard the sound!

His mind was made up. He would die a murderer’s death.

His mind was made up. He would love me until His final breath.

He gazed into the black sky, no sign from His Father. He looked at His friends hard asleep.

“It’s okay. This is my burden to bear. My charge cannot be cheap.”

“Sleep on. This is my price. This is my cost.

This is my moment to endure my cross.”

“Stay silent. This is my dark hour. This is my time to cry.

This is my moment to climb on the tree, my moment to bleed, my moment to die.”

“Sleep on. This is my burden. My pain will be great.

It will all be worth it, though, when I take Hell’s keys and trample its gate.”

The darkest of nights leave you feeling abandoned, your face to the ground.

The darkest of nights are your only assurance that your future holds a crown.

Everyone is silent. There’s nowhere to turn.

Oh, I hope you understand. I hope you can discern!

When life has laid you out on your belly to groan.

Here, God is establishing your throne.

Oh, you’re sure you’re dying. You’re sure it’s the end!

My friend, let me help you. Your life is just about to begin.

Hold on! Clench the dirt in your hands.

Can’t you hear it? All of Heaven is cheering you on from the stands!

To all of the things you ever thought you needed to survive that are now gone.

Look at them with Destiny in your eyes and release them.

“Sleep on.”